When I made this illustration I was dealing with severe period pain and it was also a super hot day. I do a smaller version of this in real life in my own sketchbooks but imaging this on a larger scale became the inspiration for making this small comic strip. Pain overwhelms everything I find and therefore finding a way to tame it somehow, to boundary it, feels so needed when it is at it’s worst. Pain killers are definitely part of that for me!
And yet there is also something else I find myself wanting and that is the sense of capturing what I’m experiencing emotionally and then expressing how that feels as well.
This time my pain came to life as a monster painted in deep red with claws, sharp teeth and an evil grin.
I felt I had defeated something for a short while at least.
Does anyone else do this? Or something similar? I’d be so interested to now how other people with persistent pain conditions (I have endometriosis) find ways to manage living with pain?
And whatever ways you cope I hope it brings you moments of peace and the distance from that pain to feel that you are and always will be more than that pain, despite how overwhelming it feels.
Many, many tea breaks helping to get me through the day. probably good to keep the old body moving a bit too. Interesting to break down a short sequence of something done on auto-pilot and take time to explore the everyday. x
This week I have loved having a blooming good cry! Or rather, to be more accurate, what I loved was the transformation as tears are shed. When the body and heart are lighter, refreshed and ready to go on.
There has been a huge mixture of weather this week. Rain, wind, rain again and then wonderful moments of sunshine. This is what I have loved this week – those moments after the rain when the gloomy sky dissolves and the sun beams down.
For anyone joining me this week I have begun a weekly blogpost focusing on something I have loved each week.
A friend of mine, and an incredibly talented musician, has run some meditation webinars which allow listeners to meditate while she plays. Not really knowing what to expect and having never meditated with live music before I was amazed at how affected I was by the 5minute session. This has been the experience which I have loved this week.
So a big ‘thank you’ to Ayanna and if you want to check out her music and what she is up to here is a link to her website:
About two months ago something went very wrong and I lost a connection with almost everything both inside and outside of me. All my focus turned onto the painful beating of my anxious heart, tense shoulders and quivering hand which seemed to have stopped making the lines I wanted it to make.
Without knowing exactly where the impulse came from I decided to note down the things that I had loved each day. It could be something as simple as the feeling of a comfy jumper. It could be something more emotional and intangible like the sound of my mum’s voice talking to me over the phone. The sound of rain. A cake. A cup of tea. Coloured pencils.
Like threading on beads one by one to make a necklace I found that each small thing loved started to make something bigger.
Here is Week #1 – the first illustration of what I have loved this week.
I hope you will check in each week to see what I have loved next week, and the weeks to come!